What Divorce Can Teach You
I realize that this website can be a bit of a downer, focusing generally on the negative aspects of divorce, but in reality there are some positive things that can come of it. In fact, there are a surprising number of up-sides to divorce.
The most obvious, of course, is not having to put up with your parents living together anymore. When they divorce, it also gives you a chance to move past the divorce. Because, let's face it, in most cases life wasn't happy before they separated. Post-divorce, you can try and find some sort of stability in your new life.
The divorce of your parents also teaches you what not to do. If your parents are divorced, in my opinion you're a whole lot less likely to make their same mistakes. You learn not to argue in front of your kids, and not to treat them like objects instead of people. You also learn what not to do in your own marriage, like getting married too quickly. My own mother's parents are divorced, and while she did end up getting divorced, too, she waited longer to get married and had a much better relationship with my dad than my grandparents did with each other. Post-divorce, she was also much more understanding and helpful than my dad was because she'd been through it herself. I, too, will learn from my mother's mistakes. Not only will I wait longer to get married, but I'll also know if a relationship is bad that I can and should get out of it quickly.
Having a divorced family teaches you a lot of different skills that you probably wouldn't have learned otherwise. When you finally leave home, you come out more independent than other kids your age, and a lot more mature. You learn to manage money, negotiate, and stand up for your own rights. Essentially, you learn to take charge of your own destiny. To this day, I'm an incredibly independent person. My mother covers my health insurance and my phone plan, but that's about it, and even that I could survive without. The rest I do on my own. I value my independence far more than most people do, and that's caused me to be far more financially and emotionally stable.
I'm not trying to say divorce is a good thing, but I would be a liar if I said that I hadn't gained important skills and matured as a person after my parents divorced. That, to me, is the most positive thing that can come out of a bad situation.
The most obvious, of course, is not having to put up with your parents living together anymore. When they divorce, it also gives you a chance to move past the divorce. Because, let's face it, in most cases life wasn't happy before they separated. Post-divorce, you can try and find some sort of stability in your new life.
The divorce of your parents also teaches you what not to do. If your parents are divorced, in my opinion you're a whole lot less likely to make their same mistakes. You learn not to argue in front of your kids, and not to treat them like objects instead of people. You also learn what not to do in your own marriage, like getting married too quickly. My own mother's parents are divorced, and while she did end up getting divorced, too, she waited longer to get married and had a much better relationship with my dad than my grandparents did with each other. Post-divorce, she was also much more understanding and helpful than my dad was because she'd been through it herself. I, too, will learn from my mother's mistakes. Not only will I wait longer to get married, but I'll also know if a relationship is bad that I can and should get out of it quickly.
Having a divorced family teaches you a lot of different skills that you probably wouldn't have learned otherwise. When you finally leave home, you come out more independent than other kids your age, and a lot more mature. You learn to manage money, negotiate, and stand up for your own rights. Essentially, you learn to take charge of your own destiny. To this day, I'm an incredibly independent person. My mother covers my health insurance and my phone plan, but that's about it, and even that I could survive without. The rest I do on my own. I value my independence far more than most people do, and that's caused me to be far more financially and emotionally stable.
I'm not trying to say divorce is a good thing, but I would be a liar if I said that I hadn't gained important skills and matured as a person after my parents divorced. That, to me, is the most positive thing that can come out of a bad situation.