When Parents Date...
It can be weird when your parents start dating again. Your mom starts meeting with strangers for coffee, your dad gets dressed up for a date with his girlfriend. Especially coming at a time when you're starting to date yourself, it can feel awkward and strange. It means giving up on the idea of your parents getting back together. It also means you have a big decision to make.
When it comes to your parents dating, you can make one of two choices. You can decide to show how unhappy you are with their decision (if you are), or you can be supportive. If you don't like the fact that they're dating, you don't have to pretend like you do. It is in your best interests, however, to be at least a small bit supportive. Why? Because if you don't fight them on this, they're more likely to listen to your opinions in the future.
When my mom started dating, I could tell her that I thought that a guy she was with was creepy and she actually listened to me. She listened because I was generally supportive of her dating. If my little sister said anything, though, she was completely ignored. My mom didn't listen to her because she knew that my sister would disapprove of anyone she dated.
If your parent truly wants to know if you're ready for them to date, and you're not, you can tell them. But if they decide they're going to date whether you like it or not, fighting isn't going to change anything. Accepting it, though, means that they'll listen to you when it counts. It's all about choosing your battles.
Just because your parent is dating does not mean that they love you any less. They're just looking for another kind of love, one they're missing. Because we can all admit, the love you have for your boyfriend/girlfriend and the love you have for your parents are thankfully very, very different. It's the same for them with you. They still love you, it's just a different kind of love. Yes, they might be around as much, but it doesn't mean they love you any less. This is hard, because we equate love with time we're around someone, a problem I've struggled with myself, but it gets easier over time.
Like it or not, your parents are probably going to date someone else at some point. Whether you stay close despite their dating or allow this to split the two of you apart is in your hands.
When it comes to your parents dating, you can make one of two choices. You can decide to show how unhappy you are with their decision (if you are), or you can be supportive. If you don't like the fact that they're dating, you don't have to pretend like you do. It is in your best interests, however, to be at least a small bit supportive. Why? Because if you don't fight them on this, they're more likely to listen to your opinions in the future.
When my mom started dating, I could tell her that I thought that a guy she was with was creepy and she actually listened to me. She listened because I was generally supportive of her dating. If my little sister said anything, though, she was completely ignored. My mom didn't listen to her because she knew that my sister would disapprove of anyone she dated.
If your parent truly wants to know if you're ready for them to date, and you're not, you can tell them. But if they decide they're going to date whether you like it or not, fighting isn't going to change anything. Accepting it, though, means that they'll listen to you when it counts. It's all about choosing your battles.
Just because your parent is dating does not mean that they love you any less. They're just looking for another kind of love, one they're missing. Because we can all admit, the love you have for your boyfriend/girlfriend and the love you have for your parents are thankfully very, very different. It's the same for them with you. They still love you, it's just a different kind of love. Yes, they might be around as much, but it doesn't mean they love you any less. This is hard, because we equate love with time we're around someone, a problem I've struggled with myself, but it gets easier over time.
Like it or not, your parents are probably going to date someone else at some point. Whether you stay close despite their dating or allow this to split the two of you apart is in your hands.