Divorce 101
As the sign shows, divorce can be inexpensive and straightforward. Unfortunately for you and me both, it rarely turns out that way. Read on to learn the basics of how the average divorce with children works. If you don't feel comfortable with the vocabulary - alimony, custody, etc - please check out the Vocabulary of Divorce page before moving on.
Before reading on, it's important to realize that even within the United States, divorce laws are different in each and every state. So what you'll go through will vary a great deal. This is just to provide a general idea of what will happen. For those who live outside of the United States, please read the Regional Resources page for links to other countries' divorce processes.
The Deciding Factor
When your parent(s) decide to get a divorce, one thing will become apparent very quickly and change the entire process of the divorce. That is whether it will be a contested or an uncontested divorce. In an uncontested divorce, the parents generally simply agree to divorce and don't fight over it. They're relatively straightforward. Unfortunately, a great many divorces are contested divorces, which means that the parents involved don't agree about everything. These divorces have to go through a judge and the fighting associated with them can be quite expensive.
Before reading on, it's important to realize that even within the United States, divorce laws are different in each and every state. So what you'll go through will vary a great deal. This is just to provide a general idea of what will happen. For those who live outside of the United States, please read the Regional Resources page for links to other countries' divorce processes.
The Deciding Factor
When your parent(s) decide to get a divorce, one thing will become apparent very quickly and change the entire process of the divorce. That is whether it will be a contested or an uncontested divorce. In an uncontested divorce, the parents generally simply agree to divorce and don't fight over it. They're relatively straightforward. Unfortunately, a great many divorces are contested divorces, which means that the parents involved don't agree about everything. These divorces have to go through a judge and the fighting associated with them can be quite expensive.
The Stages of Divorce
Step 1: Separation
This isn't always part of something legally required, but generally even before the divorce one parent will move out of the house.
Step 2: Paperwork
The parent getting the divorce fills out the paperwork. In a separate process, they will also fill out a custody petition, asking for sole or joint custody.
Step 3: Tell the other parent
The parent who filed for divorce "serves" the other parent with the papers. It simply means that they notify your other parent that they're applying for a divorce.
Step 4: The parent answers
At this point, the parent who has been served with the divorce can choose to go through an uncontested divorce, or a contested divorce.
Step 5: The Temporary Hearing
Divorce can take a while, so at this hearing your parents figure out who's allowed to do what while they're waiting for the actual trial. This involves temporary child custody, temporary child support, etc.
Step 6: Settlement
After essentially having each attorney investigate the other parent (the discovery stage) the parents try and agree. If they manage to agree on everything at this point, they don't have to go to court. If not, though, they move on to Step 7.
Step 7: Trial
Your parents and their attorneys take the matter to a judge. Each attorney will try and help their client (your parent) to "win," if there is such a thing. The judge then makes a decision on things like what parent gets custody over you (although your opinion will likely be taken into account - read more at the Custody page), how much child support will have to be paid, etc.
Step 8: Resolution
This is the point where you hopefully move on with your lives. Unless one of your parents decides to appeal, the divorce is done and settled.
Hopefully this has helped you better understand the divorce process. Sometimes not knowing is the most frightening thing of all, so hopefully knowing more about the process will help you feel less anxious and more in control.
This isn't always part of something legally required, but generally even before the divorce one parent will move out of the house.
Step 2: Paperwork
The parent getting the divorce fills out the paperwork. In a separate process, they will also fill out a custody petition, asking for sole or joint custody.
Step 3: Tell the other parent
The parent who filed for divorce "serves" the other parent with the papers. It simply means that they notify your other parent that they're applying for a divorce.
Step 4: The parent answers
At this point, the parent who has been served with the divorce can choose to go through an uncontested divorce, or a contested divorce.
Step 5: The Temporary Hearing
Divorce can take a while, so at this hearing your parents figure out who's allowed to do what while they're waiting for the actual trial. This involves temporary child custody, temporary child support, etc.
Step 6: Settlement
After essentially having each attorney investigate the other parent (the discovery stage) the parents try and agree. If they manage to agree on everything at this point, they don't have to go to court. If not, though, they move on to Step 7.
Step 7: Trial
Your parents and their attorneys take the matter to a judge. Each attorney will try and help their client (your parent) to "win," if there is such a thing. The judge then makes a decision on things like what parent gets custody over you (although your opinion will likely be taken into account - read more at the Custody page), how much child support will have to be paid, etc.
Step 8: Resolution
This is the point where you hopefully move on with your lives. Unless one of your parents decides to appeal, the divorce is done and settled.
Hopefully this has helped you better understand the divorce process. Sometimes not knowing is the most frightening thing of all, so hopefully knowing more about the process will help you feel less anxious and more in control.
Next Stop: The Custody page. Learn more about how the judge decides which parent gets custody of you and what say you have in the matter.
I used the HowStuffWorks page as the basis for this, so it deserves a citation. Again, to read the article from HowStuffWorks in its entirety, rather than my simplified version, click here. Just a reminder, I have no legal background whatsoever, so if you're looking for professional advice, please look elsewhere.
Obringer, Lee A. "HowStuffWorks "How Divorce Works"" HowStuffWorks "People" Web. 06 Oct. 2011. <http://people.howstuffworks.com/divorce.htm>.
Obringer, Lee A. "HowStuffWorks "How Divorce Works"" HowStuffWorks "People" Web. 06 Oct. 2011. <http://people.howstuffworks.com/divorce.htm>.